Who Holds You Up?

This past week, I was speaking with a special soul in my life. A client and friend, Tony Lillios.

Tony is one of those rare humans: deep-minded, generous, and radically present for the people he cares about.

As we were catching up, he reflected something back to me that stopped me cold.
He said, “Bryan, you’ve got incredible people under you. Great ones who hold you up. It’s like a Jewish wedding, where everyone’s hands are beneath you, celebrating you, lifting you higher.”

And then he paused.
“You know how special that is, right?”

I’ll admit. I hadn’t thought about this in such a powerful visual before.

When you’re moving fast, building, striving, living. . . you can forget.
You aren’t always fully present to the people quietly making it all possible.
The ones who show up not for what they can get, but because they believe in you.

Tony held up a mirror. And I saw not just my own reflection — but everyone’s hands beneath it.

(PS: I’m not Jewish, but my stepmother and little sister just converted. Watching them take that road is pretty special.)

That conversation stirred something deeper.

It made me ask myself: How do we find people worth holding us up and how do we become someone worth holding?

A few things came to mind:

1. Vulnerability.

To build relationships that matter, you have to risk being seen.
You have to give others the trust and truth that makes them want to stand beside you.
Yes, it can hurt. But it’s also how life reminds you who’s safe to fall around.

2. Care.

People hold up those who care for them.
If someone you love texted tonight saying, “I need to talk,” — would you make space?
Would you open the door, even if it wasn’t convenient?
Care is the gravity that keeps our connections from floating away.

3. Self-Awareness.

To know who deserves your openness, you have to know yourself.
The more aligned you are internally, the more energetically aligned you become to those vibrating at your same frequency.

So as you go into the weekend — take a quiet moment.
Who’s holding you up right now?
Who makes your life possible in ways you rarely pause to acknowledge?

And if you don’t love what you see — that’s okay.
You can always build a new circle, one genuine connection at a time.

And now, for those who’ve held me up…

In terms of filling others’ cups . . . I’ve made 5,000 asks this year.
Over 4,400 were connected to two major brand launches.
And I tracked every single one in a spreadsheet. And was quite persistent about it.

While I’m generally a giver,
In an effort to refill the tank and support others . . .
I have created a simple form.

If you’ve helped me, supported me, believed in me — I want to return the favor.
I can’t promise instant replies, but I will carve out time each week to respond to requests — an intro, a share, a feature in the newsletter, a bit of strategy to a question, whatever might help.

Let’s see what unfolds.

[Submit your ask here]

Because life’s too short to forget the ones holding the chair.

Community Notes:

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3. Lisa Nirell is an acclaimed speaker, author, and growth strategist who has helped thousands of leaders at organizations like Google, Hilton, and AARP navigate high-stakes transitions and lead with purpose. A member of Marshall Goldsmith’s 100 Coaches and host of The Mindful Marketer podcast, she brings three decades of experience in AI strategy, innovation, and marketing leadership to every stage and boardroom she enters. Learn more from her speaking reel about how she works with senior leaders.