The Value of Smart Friends

Growing up, I struggled socially.

I was combative. I got in trouble on the playground. I tested the patience of every teacher who tried to put me in a box.

Rules and cages were never my thing. Not even cribs.
As a baby, I literally hurled myself out of mine, broke my leg, and spent the rest of my childhood testing boundaries.

By middle school, my social ineptitude had gotten so bad that my mom made me start a kindness journal. Every day after school, I had to write down three nice things I said to people.

That practice taught me something profound:

every action carries a ripple.

If I put something kind into the world, it usually came back in some form.

It made me more likable on the surface, but inside, I was still on the outside looking in.

The Meerkat Years

High school only magnified the gap.

I was the late bloomer, the one who hit puberty years behind my peers. My nickname? Meerkat.

I tried to prove myself in academics. Great grades, average SAT/ACT scores.

I tried to prove myself in sports, strong work ethic, always a step behind the top performers.

No matter what, I felt just left of center. Not rejected, but not fully accepted either. Always on the fringe.

A Fresh Start

When I got to college, I desired a reset.

I made friends through intramural sports, but my ideas were still questioned. My pursuits felt caged in.

By senior year, I knew there had to be more. I just didn’t know where to find it.

And then I stumbled into entrepreneurship.

Suddenly, I was valued not for my athleticism or my GPA, but for the way I thought.

In this world:

• Questions were never “stupid.”

• Imagination wasn’t limited.

• Doing things on your own terms wasn’t just allowed—it was respected.

For the first time, I found people who were truly like me. It was exhilarating, like stumbling into a new dimension where my soul finally had room to breathe.

Building a Different Kind of Network

Over the past decade, I’ve built my life around those relationships.

The kindness journal skills I once used to fit in became the foundation of how I now show up for people.

The grit I built through sports and academics became tools I could wield in this new world.

And slowly, I found my people.

The ones who challenge me.
The ones who see the world as bendable.
The ones who keep getting smacked in the face and keep going until it bends.

Just this past year, a few of them changed everything for me. One reframed the way I think about our business. Another took a chance on me because they saw the same future I did.

Others have rallied around me when I needed it most.

And here’s the truth:

The longer you stay in the arena, the more you fight through, the smaller the world becomes, because you start running into the same people who are just as relentless, just as unreasonable, just as alive.

The Lesson

What I’ve learned is this:

It’s worth the fight.

It’s worth the awkward years, the loneliness, the late nights wondering if you’ll ever find your people.

Because when you do…

They don’t just help you bring your dreams alive.

They make you dream bigger.

They show you roads you didn’t know you needed to travel.

And most importantly, they remind you that you’re not alone in bending the world.

A Question for You

Take a moment to reflect:

• Who are the people in your life that truly make you feel seen?

• Who challenges you in the best way possible?

• Who helps you dream bigger?

If you can name them, hold them close. Pour into them the way they’ve poured into you.

And if you’re still searching for them—don’t quit.

Keep showing up. Keep giving. Keep listening to that quiet internal heartbeat that tells you when you’re in the right place, with the right people, at the right time.

Because one day, you’ll look around and realize: you found your smart friends. And they were worth the wait.

Community Notes:

1. Deb Liu recently went through our Arc Launch Process and launched her new website. Also read a really great story about the type of person she is here.
   

2. My friend Robin Hauser is screening her film THAW on Nov. 5th at the Alamo Drafthouse in Mountain View.  
   

   THAW examines the rapidly growing egg and embryo freezing industry, revealing its profound implications for women’s reproductive health and rights. Through the stories of three American women navigating the costly and unregulated world of fertility preservation, the film sheds light on the deeply personal, social, and economic complexities tied to modern parenthood.

   November 5th, 6:30 PM

   Panel with Director Robin Hauser and industry experts to follow.
   
   TICKETS

   $10 Discount Code: WISH
   

3. Taylor Johnson has unlocked performance at the highest levels - from the NFL to esports to high-growth startups. Today, he helps business and sales team leaders train like athletes, building clarity, confidence, and capacity through repeatable systems that drive results. His approach bridges the game between elite sport and business to help you play your own game.
   
   Learn more taylorjohnsonperformance.com 

4. Webinar on Oct 22 | Join a very special and accomplished friend of the Arcbound Community, Sheila Gujrathi, who is coming out wit her book called The Mirror Effect. Sheila is calling all women to show up and tell their friends. You will not be disappointed hearing her truth and notable career. We are expecting 100+ to join.
   
   28 Registered.
   Sign up here.