The Value In Not Seeing Your Value

This is a personal one. If any of the writing below resonates with you, I encourage you to reach out to the person I mention at the bottom of this email. Because perhaps he could help you see your value too.
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If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably been told at some point that your idea wouldn’t work. That you weren’t the person for a role. That your company is not be valuable. 

You may have been blindsided by a life event. You may have had nights staring at the ceiling asking yourself, “Am I really the one who’s supposed to keep going?” You may have given maximal effort to that goal you envisioned and fell short. 

These moments hit you like darts.
Most people never see the marks.
But you feel every single imprint.

And the metaphor no one talks about? You’re not the dart thrower — you’re the dartboard.

You take the hits, stay standing, and absorb the impact and keep showing up.

And those darts?

They hurt in the short term and fuel you in the long term.

On the worst days, they make you question your worth, your capability, and your belief in yourself. They can bring you to your knees.

But on the right days, the days you forget your doubt long enough to serve someone else and pursue your unwavering vision — they’re the exact reason you stand tall.

They’re also the reason you:

• Over-deliver for the person who reminds you of your younger self

• Hit the bullseye with one bullet left in the gun

• Make five introductions for a stranger because you believe in their dream

• Show up with intensity, effort, and care in a world that rarely rewards those traits upfront . . . until you find the rare tribe of people that do.

Here’s the irony:

You might think you do these things to compensate for the stories and scars of your past.

But without those darts… you wouldn’t be who you are.

The life experiences that make you question your value perhaps are what creates your value.

Most people don’t want to be the dartboard.
Most people want an easier narrative, fewer marks, fewer hits.

But you, the one who takes the hits and keeps your head high, you’re the one who creates a story that inspires others to not quit.

Because intensity, thoughtfulness, and care aren’t liabilities.

They’re differentiators. They’re signals of someone who has lived through something and still chooses to show up with generosity.

Not seeing your value doesn’t mean you don’t have it.
More often, it means your value is so instinctual, that you forget it’s not normal.

And maybe that’s the whole point.

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Community Notes

1. My favorite read from a year ago. The Struggle by Ben Horowitz.
   

2. An incredible podcast I recently listened too – Why Singularity Almost Didn’t Make It with Aaron Vaccaro
   

3. A special nod to Andrew Sherman (lawyer) and Scott Garber (former 3 letter agency), who simultaneously helped me strategically navigate a situation a couple years back.
   

4. Speaking of fellow fighters, you should know Lindsay Hoopes. Her story is incredible. And, if you need a good bottle of wine for the holidays, look no further than Hoopes Family Vineyards, or take a visit to Napa.
   

5. If you’re looking for a supportive peer group and in transition, recently promoted, or hit a plateau, connect with Mike Maddock, who leads Flourish Advisory Forums. He is a special soul and leader of leaders.
   

6. In January 2025, I sat down with Jonathan Bunten, where he signed up on the journey to really help me see that value within myself. He closed that meeting saying to me, “We are going to get your life to a much better place when the year ends.” He’s been there every step of the way on that personal journey. He’s also been a fantastic coach for our team, and recently led a very inspiring annual planning across both Arcbound and Graviten. We have some really special plans in store for 2026 and the future is bright. Thank you Jonathan!